Thank-You Notes

Elena, I would much appreciate your thoughts on this subject.

I recall reading years ago that, when one has the opportunity of thanking a gift-giver in person, it's not necessary to send a thank-you note. However, if this were the case, then I'd have been able to bypass writing 80 thank-yous for wedding shower presents! Not to mention countless Christmas and birthday gifts through the years. This doesn't strike me as correct and I am wondering what your view on this is.

Do you feel thank sending thank-yous via email is tacky?

Finally, do you feel that there is a distinction between Christmas or other holiday gifts versus birthday gifts where thank-you notes are concerned? I always insist that my daughters write thank-you notes for birthday gifts, but have been lax about Christmas presents from friends and relations.

Thank you!

I am so glad you brought this up, Duchess! It sounds like you are training your daughters well. There is nothing like sending someone a handwritten note, and truly there is no replacement for it, although an email "thank-you" is better than no "thank-you" at all. It is my understanding that certain life changing events, such as graduations, weddings, showers, christenings and any significant religious ceremonies, always call for hand-written thank-you notes in response to gifts. Similarly, if people send flowers or memorial cards in honor of a recently deceased person, those tokens of esteem should be reciprocated with a thank-you note. It is also a kind attention, after being a guest at a formal dinner, to respond with a hand-written note. As for children, sometimes it can be a little much getting them to write multiple thank you notes. We always write them at birthdays and at Christmas, and Easter, too, if gifts are sent. Every family has their own custom in that regard. The children should be helped to find some way to show their gratitude for any and every gift received.

Here is a link to what the "original" Emily post writes about thank-you notes and notes in general.
http://www.bartleby.com/95/27.html She gives some sample notes as examples. It is interesting to see what she emphasizes.