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The New Singleness

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The New Singleness

Post  Elena on Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:49 pm

An interesting article by Maggie Gallagher.

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2011/10/4164

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Re: The New Singleness

Post  Julygirl on Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:01 pm

Very interesting article! Thanks!
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Re: The New Singleness

Post  Elena on Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:26 pm

I thought she made some great points such as:

Sex has been divorced from meaning. Men are not being raised to be good family men, and women are not being raised to appreciate good family men. And men are failing to become the kind of men women want. Porn is available for all as a substitute for life.

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Re: The New Singleness

Post  princess garnet on Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:25 pm

Here's an article from "National Review" online yesterday:
www.nationalreview.com/articles/280854/why-not-matriarchy-lea-halim
Relates to some of the points raised here.

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Re: The New Singleness

Post  Elena on Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:40 pm

Thank you, princess, a very powerful article. To quote from ot:

Matriarchy and promiscuity sustain one another. For as long as women expect support from the fathers of their children, male promiscuity will lead to distress and declining fertility as women fail to find committed partners. This is the world Bolick inhabits along with other New York singles. But when women give up on men’s playing an important role in the household and turn to one another instead, accepting the financial and emotional costs of raising one another’s children, promiscuity becomes, in a sense, safe. It also becomes inevitable, as men, who become increasingly less likely to meet the standards set by female heads of household, are no longer willing or able to sustain long-term commitment.

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Re: The New Singleness

Post  Mata Hari on Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:31 pm

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

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Re: The New Singleness

Post  Elena on Wed Feb 26, 2014 1:00 pm

Here is a fabulous article:http://pegobry.tumblr.com/post/77793273540/of-the-nature-of-vocation-and-its-current-modern

There is an understandable and maybe even laudable instinct in the Church which sees society’s values slipping away to make the remaining points of agreement into redoubts and say, “See? Don’t we agree with this?” Thus, in the ’90s,”Okay, we may not agree about contraception, or divorce, or abortion, but at least we agree homosexual acts are wrong?” Until…we didn’t. 
Today we’re having a similar problem with marriage. The orthodox Christian view of indissoluble marriage in many ways can seem “exalted” in comparison to secular society. And secular society certainly makes lots of noises about valorizing marriage. Thus, “You agree marriage is awesome, we agree marriage is awesome. Ain’t marriage awesome???”
But the problem is that this is an inversion of the Biblical theology of marriage. The root is Protestant. In his urge to torch his own vows, Luther built an exalted theology of marriage as the summit of Christian life (completely ignoring Paul, #solascriptura). The Protestant communities, separated from the apostolic Church, lost the great gift of the Holy Spirit of celibate life and the theology of celibacy. 
If marriage is a vale of milk and honey, then when the milk and honey runs out, the marriage loses its reason for being. If marriage is a vale of milk and honey, then not offering it to everyone is tantamount to sadism. 
Here is a proposal for a theology of vocation: vocation is a call to creation in self-giving, because God is Creator in self-giving. Creation is kenosis—God, who is the sheer act of Being itself, embraces the Universe with its imperfection in his existence. God is Creator and continuously creating the Universe and gathering the Universe to Him and God is total self-giving, even into the intimacy of the life of the Trinity.
And Biblical Revelation teaches us that the supreme act of creative self-giving is the Cross. 
We see, then, how we are invited to take up our Cross and follow Christ. 
Marriage is a Cross. Marriage is a vocation to creation in total self-giving. To say that marriage is a Cross is to say that it is part of God’s design and that many graces flow from it and even that it is joyous. But it is also to say that it sucks sometimes and that it demands a total gift of self. 
If we see vocation as a call to creative self-giving, we see that marriage and celibacy are two sides of the same coin. 
Marriage is creative in the obvious way, and it is a total giving of self. Celibacy is also a total giving of self, and it is a giving of self that frees towards creativity, as any priest or religious will tell you. And like the Cross, in our vocation we create through sacrifice. 
Marriage is a Cross. And the Church should say so. The rest of the edifice doesn’t stay into place otherwise. 


And here is a great article about being single: http://www.catholicmatch.com/institute/2014/02/why-dont-i-feel-at-peace-about-being-single/

Dear Mary Beth,
If a person has discerned their vocation and really feels that they are called to marriage and the person is just not being brought into their life, how do you keep your spirits up?  I believe that God wants us to be generally happy and at peace in life, and if this includes waiting on His timing to bring the right person into our lives, why don’t I feel peaceful about it? I am feeling angry and hurt and wondering why God is allowing this hurt to continue in my life? Unfortunately it is now starting to make me question whether or not God could truly exists. God sets rules for living and I have followed them (for years on end). Why am I hurting while others who do not follow His rules seem to get their lives to go the way they want? I just don’t get it and I’m really in a lot of spiritual and emotional pain over the whole thing.  
—Hurting
Dear Hurting,
You said you’re starting to question whether God exists. Frankly, I think you’re right. That’s exactly the question you need to be asking.
I believe that God does exist. But I don’t believe that He is who you think He is. The “God” you’re talking about—the one who automatically provides us with spouses as a reward for virtuous behavior—He doesn’t exist. Never has. Never will.
I know you’re hurting. I’m sorry. I’ve been there, too. Virtually everybody on this site has. It’s hard—very hard—to feel called to marriage, to assume that it’s our future, and then to find that the “right one” isn’t showing up, and to face the possibility that he or she may never show up.
But don’t blame it on God.
He loves you. Madly. Passionately. And He wants what is absolutely best for you. More than just wanting you to be “generally happy,” He wants you to be really happy. In eternity with Him. Forever. That’s His focus. He’s our Savior. He came to save us—not from a corrupt government (as many of his followers assumed), or from spinsterhood (as we singles sometimes assume) or from persecution or famine or anything else. He came to save us from the power of evil, and He left us a Church as an instrument of our eternal salvation. And He promised that His Spirit would be with that Church until the end of the world.
As for this life, He never promised us “general happiness,” or a peaceful life, or a guaranteed spouse, or anything like that. In fact, He pretty much promised that we’ll have a bit of a rough time of it if we follow Him.
You are finding that now. The problem isn’t with God, it’s with the free will He gave to us. When people use that free will in ways that are contrary to His will, other people get hurt. That’s one reason why, in this day and age, so many faithful Catholics are single. Fewer Catholics are taking their faith seriously. And that leaves fewer faithful Catholics for us to marry.
That’s not God’s “will,” at least not in the sense of being what God wants to happen. But He allows it to happen, and people like us get hurt as a result. Being faithful to God has made it more difficult for us to find compatible spouses. That is our cross.

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